Beware the Back-Stabbing Coworkers

Handling Peers Who Want to Make You Look Bad

by Larry Buhl, for Yahoo! HotJobs

Think you've been stabbed in the back at work? If so, you're not alone.

In a national survey by The Creative Group, nearly half of advertising and marketing executives responded that current or former colleague tried to make them look bad on the job in the past year. In addition, professionals of all types told Yahoo! HotJobs they had suffered from sabotage on the job. In a recent online poll asking, "Are you aware of a coworker trying to make you look bad or sabotage your work in the last year?" nearly three-quarters said "yes."

Those numbers are not surprising to Dr. Gary Namie, director of the Workplace Bullying Institute. He says that employee sabotage is one of the most prevalent forms of on-the-job bullying, a phenomenon that itself is far too common.

Many Forms of Sabotage

"Sabotage can happen in any organization, but some forms are special to the industry," Namie says. "In creative fields, it may take a passive form, such as not contributing to the group effort. In health care, a seasoned professional may withhold vital information, which not only hurts the new employee but also affects patient care."

Workplace saboteurs come in several types, including:

• Belittlers, who hurl put-downs, demeaning remarks and disparaging comments.
• Credit thieves, who steal your ideas and grab the glory when a project is successful.
• Finger pointers, who pin the blame on others when the project goes wrong.
• Rumor-mongers, stirring up drama by spreading lies and half-truths that destroy reputations.
• Slackers, who shirk responsibility and foist duties onto others.
• Scorched-earth managers, who will undermine or even fire a smart, capable worker when they feel threatened by brains and talent.

A 2007 Zogby International survey had even more bad news about workplace bullying: in 62% of workplace bullying cases, when made aware of bullying, employers worsen the problem or simply do nothing.

Before You Respond

How you handle sabotage or other bullying can affect your career prospects. You don't want to come across as a pushover, but you shouldn't overreact either, according to Megan Slabinski, executive director of The Creative Group.

"Not everyone who slights you is doing it on purpose," Slabinski tells Yahoo! HotJobs. "Before you confront someone, see if you may have played a role in the problem, or if your colleague wasn't aware of the issue. It's also wise to ask a mentor for candid feedback."

Slabinski also recommends looking for patterns before crying foul. "If it's happened a few times, it's definitely time to speak up. If someone is purposely trying to make you look bad, you want to let him or her know that you're aware of the situation, and you're not going to let it continue."

Guarding Against Sabotage

If you're certain you've been the target of sabotage, Namie offers several remedies:

• Get allies. Know that the bully will have allies, so you'll need all the back up you can get.
• Go three levels up, if possible. A bully's boss may be in on the game, so go above their heads to make your case.
• Don't get personal. "Instead of saying how you were hurt by what happened, show how sabotage is causing the business to suffer," Namie says.
• Ask for protection. Again, make your case business-related, not personal, and explain that your productivity can improve if you're not constantly looking over your shoulder.
• Prepare for your next job. Unfortunately, whistle blowers can be blamed for their own fate. If things go from bad to worse, know that you may have to leave the job you love.

Boracay and Me

OCTOBER 25-28, 2008




a very well deserved break from all the madness of difficult life decision making.

all smiles and a bright sunny day at the beach with friends.

one of the boys

i really don't need to explain myself to anyone especially to those people who are narrow minded. but for the sake of additional blog entries, what the hell! here goes...

i am the youngest and only daughter in my family, i have two brothers with 8-9 years age gap with mine, i used to play lego, matchbox and robots when i was a kid ( hand-me downs from my kuyas), i am always out with my kababata almost everyday, we're actually raised in a very modern way medyo next to the kids from the states. my parents are not strict, never nila ako pinagalitan if i go home super late, there's one rule in out family...i can do whatever i want basta i should be responsible for the consequences of my decisions. they know that kahit ano pa hobbies or vices ko there will come a time that i will stop or quit, they never tried to force me , it's always my time and decision that matters.

for those who think that i am a bitch or a boyfriend snatcher...i'm sorry to disappoint you but i am not like that. i have fair shares of mistakes for being too close with guys who are already in a relationship. and usually misinterpreted by those people who are too nosy and hyprocrite to even indulge in my personal life. some of my mistakes were inexcusable but i stand by it, i never regret anything i have done, i learned from it and obviously i can live through it.

as long as i can remember mostly i have guy friends rather than girls. i can hang out with my guy friends even if i'm the only girl in the group, it doesn't matter kse i have the best guy friends in the world. frankly, i never had a boyfriend from my cirlce of friends even back in high school days. it was never my thing, although i had few "muntik" romances with some but it was never an issue or even big deal.i'm still friends with them until now.

items to consider before creating false accusation ( chismis/judgement in short!) hahaha!

1. mommy, auntie, mama, mam, bakla, boy - yan tawag ng mga boy friends ko sa kin kse they consider me as somewhat confidant or best girlfriend ( promise minsan di na sila magalang sa kin..hahaha)
2. love motorcyles! - notice: di dahil madalas nakasakay sa motor ng isang lalaki ay ibig sabihin mag boyfriend sila ( haha this is really funny, i heard this issue lately lang, gusto ko sana sabihin "mga tanga!")
3. no curfews - i can go home super late at night ( gigisingin ko mom ko) or even have sleepovers wherever i want, i can do this since highschool pa.although i know many will not understand this kasi nga girl ako and it's a bad thing.
   
4. platonic love - i have bestfriends na boys, actually most of them can be considered as my best buddies. i can talk about anything and stay up late just playing poker with my boys without even considering any romantic possibilities sa kahit sino pa sa kanila. yes my dear, it is possible! you can watch movies, go gimik and even sleep in the same room with guy and no intimacy can happen.
5. i'm not a girlfriend material - hate to admit it but yes i am not the one! i am a brat and i'm not successful in having commitments with guys. i'm not proud of it but i am just more happy being single and independent. kaya if you think that i had na gazillions of flings, boyfriends, kabits or kahit ano pa...it's not true.pero sana nga merun...bitter!

those are the few things na hopefully will enlighten some of those people who thinks i am a bitch and a boy crazy. i hate to disappoint you but again things are not always what they seem. i am a very simple and a low profile individual. i am famous it's because i grew up here not because of a bad reputation. and i think i can be awarded with the ms. congeniality title for being a cowboy-girl, a tomboy, a teacher, a bestfriend and even a mommy because it's just who i am. i my boy friends because they're not pretensious and hyprocrites like most girls i know and i am lucky because these boys are true persons. i miss some of them kasi ang layo na nila lalo na those boys nun college pa kami, yun mga kuya namin nun sa campus. mga knight and shining armor namin against those true bitches.

oh well, what can i say... i'm one of the boys and maybe kaya di ako makapag boyfriend kasi it can be so intimidating for the others to court me kasi they can never be as great and awesome compared to my boy friends. naku pag di ako nakapag asawa aalagaan nyo ko ha! haha