there goes my hopes...

twisted...depressed...
frustrated...heartbroken...
confused...discouraged...
unhappy...disappointed...

windy 

mini me 

footsies 

bleachers 

gel and me 

so confused....

...im so confused...almost everything that i wished for since last year august were finally coming into a reality...my major plan...unti-unti na syang nanyayari...but how come im getting confused super big time! i mean merun ng mga signs pointing to the direction i hoped for,but there's always something that holding me back.bigtime decision making ulit to, and i'm not really good at this kind of situation...oh crap...bakit kse i'm not the person who seeks advices from my parents or any of my friends...sanay kse akong nagmamaganda!im still clueless if ma-rehire pa ako next sem and that sucks bigtime...my post grad schedule doesn't fit sa workload ko.hay...God please clear out some of the remaining dark clouds...

i've finished my grade reports(inc,4,failed)
still wishing that my sweldo will be fair(hay sana 10days sya)
i've already registered at aiti(conflict with my day job)(big problem)
my dear bro will help finance my post grad(thanks super)
my cousins will let me stay at their place(makati yey!)
i already have tickets to palawan(technically n ky chay...still lacks pocket money)

you see...ok na sana but still there's always a catch in each situation.the worst part...convincing my dad na i am really serious with my plans...time's ticking...crap!!! im really confused!

....would it be nice....

Wouldn't it be nice if we were older
Then we wouldn't have to wait so long
And wouldn't it be nice to live together
In the kind of world where we belong

You know its gonna make it that much better
When we can say goodnight and stay together

Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up
In the morning when the day is new
And after having spent the day together
Hold each other close the whole night through

Happy times together we've been spending
I wish that every kiss was neverending
Oh Wouldn't it be nice

Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray it might come true
Baby then there wouldn't be a single thing we couldn't do
We could be married (we could be married)
And then we'd be happy (then we'd be happy)

Wouldn't it be nice

You know it seems the more we talk about it
It only makes it worse to live without it
But lets talk about it
Wouldn't it be nice

good night
sleep tight

good night
sleep tight

good night
sleep tight



---i remembered this song after watching 50 first dates sa HBO again...i love that movie,i like the plot. hay i'll continue this tomorrow,katamad na.parang nalungkot ako sa movie after watching it...

oh brother!

...seek first the kingdom of GOD, and everything shall be given to you...(forgot the exact verse)

this is definitely one of God's ways of telling his children how much He loves us...it's kinda weird earlier this morning, the devil really knows how to tempt a person with a weak heart.i was trying to go to church but then merun at merun pa ring bagay na nagpapatagal, i mean 20mins akong nag hintay ng tryk, then i decided to go back sa bahay, but then my dad arrived finally i was able to attend church (super late nga lang).it's so unlikely to be late in a sunday worship, i know that eversince i became a christian.but then again,i am still weak.the only time i felt i was so close to God was when i'm still in makati.

anyway, God really knows how to keep His promise. i was so grateful,naka attend ako kanina, a malaysian christian elder was our guest and he's a blessing for me.he narrated so many stories about his younger days, he's also a teacher like me.he expressed some of his old ways that really showed me some of my bad attitudes in teaching.it's like he's talking to me...parang psychiatrist ko.i was able to realize some of the importance of my role as a teacher and not forgetting my christianity.

lastly, my kuya was so mabait.i guess he's really the most cool and understanding kuya...if we were younger,i'll definitely be ashamed to admit that i envy him,actually both of my brothers, sila na nga yun lalaki sila pa yun mas maayos mag isip kaysa sa kin.fault talaga to ng tatay ko,brat kasi ako!but then again, i just wished i'll be able to repay my kuya.hehehe, if ever he'll be able to read this...ngeks nakakahiya!pero he knows how to support me financially and of course he believes i can be someone someday.labo pero basta hirap explain...