Thursday, May 12, 2005

frustrated mode

damn! this is one of the most frustrating situations i've ever had...i've exerted too much effort,i've been serious enough,i've never been this pressured but then all my efforts were not appreciated...oh well...i guess God has another plan for me...

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

hell week

i hate mondays...and i'm starting to hate the month of May...but i'm still hoping that something will come up good before the month ends...

first,i made this blog for me to have an outlet for my rants and raves...so if ever you just happened to see my page and feeling mo sus ang drama naman nitong blogger eh might as well close this window na agad...don't waste your time...but for those who still want to stay at this page...sure go ahead...i just want others to know that bad things (kamalasan) also happen to other individual across the globe...di ka nag iisa!!! hahaha...drama nga!

oh well, i wasn't able to take the psychological test yesterday coz i must pay 200php first...i mean wait i have to pay that much for me to know if may sira ang ulo ko or i have low EQ...no way...but i had to take the test coz required daw yun in my application for the faculty position here sa campus...haha...i had to take it para malaman if i am sane enough to teach...the countdown to my interview/demo aka "hell day"---i just wish i don't have to take that...i really hate interviews...i'd rather take exams the whole day rather than sitting for an interview.it scares the hell out of me...i always stutter and rattle specially when the 1st question is given to me..."describe your self"...it's stupid i know...after many interviews untill now i don't have the answer for that...maybe i should take that psyche test already...it seemed that i have no idea how to describe myself..if only i can say---eh di just judge me!!!!haha slambook kinda-thing!

then came tuesday...i went to the office early coz i planned to take that psyche test and unfortunately my boss said that they will interview us today...as in right now...grabe the word "quit" flashed in my face...for me interview means i quit...haha...merun bang phobia sa mga interviews...baka i have that...so,ayun i was th 1st one to be interviewed and sure the questions were common and as expected i think my supervisors were disappointed with me...para nga sermon yun nanyari than interview...they assessed me and gave me pointers para daw sa final interview with the big time peepz i can compose myself na...maybe i should take up english again...or maybe i should read more books pa para i can speak english fluently...my boss was impressed with my grades but then he asked me how did i got high grades like that...maybe he's thinking binayaran ko lang yun school para magkaroon ako ng ganun..no way...stored knowledge yun and smart talaga ako! haha...i hate it...i know i can be better,i know i could have answered those questions right,i know i can express my self a lot better even if i have to speak in english...

oh well...oh well...hirap ng brat..i have a mentality of always getting what i want in an easy way...but this job...i can't have it unless i work hard and to undergo a panel interview with the biggies!

Monday, May 09, 2005

Current Playlist- - - - MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE

Helena

Long ago
Just like the hearse you died to get in again
We are so far from you

Burning on just like a match you strike to incinerate
The lives of everyone you knew
And what's the worst you take (worst you take)
from every heart you break (heart you break)
And like the blade you stain (blade you stain)
Well I've been holding on tonight

[Chorus]
What's the worst that I can say?
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long not goodnight

Came a time
When every star falls brought you to tears again
We are the very hurt you sold
And what's the worst you take (worst you take)
from every heart you break (heart you break)
And like the blade you stain (blade you stain)
Well I've been holding on tonight

[Chorus]
What's the worst that I can say?
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight
And if you carry on this way
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long not goodnight

Can you hear me?
Are you near me?
Can we pretend to leave and then
We'll meet again
When both our cars collide?

[Chorus]
What's the worst that I can say?
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight
And if you carry on this way
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long not goodnight

I'm Not Okay ( I promise)

Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say.
I never want to let you down or have you go, it's better off this way.
For all the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took,
Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor?

I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
You wear me out.

What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems?
(I'm not okay)
I told you time and time again you sing the words but don't know what they mean
(I'm not okay)
So be a joke and look, another line without a hook
I held you close as we both shook for the last time take a good hard look!

I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
You wear me out.

Forget about the dirty looks
The photographs your boyfriend took?
You said you read me like a book, but the pages are all torn and frayed

I'm okay.
I'm okay!
I'm okay, now
(I'm okay, now)

But you really need to listen to me
Because I'm telling you the truth
I mean this, I'm okay!
(Trust Me)

I'm not okay
I'm not okay
Well, I'm not okay
I'm not o-fucking-kay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
(Okay)